Yesterday (at the time of writing this), I had seen my foot doctor and got a very good report. When I was at life group, one of my very dear friends said of my foot doctor, “He was a spiritual steward for you!” The terms “spiritual steward” really hit me and stuck with me the rest of the night and into today and I would like to break out just why and how God did use my foot doctor to administer is His grace.

According to Merriam Webster dictionary definition 1, steward means “one employed in a large household or estate to manage domestic concerns (such as the supervision of servants, collection of rents, and keeping of accounts)“

Before I can really explain why my doctor was a spiritual steward, I need to back up a moment to 2012 and give you some back story so that the depth of what God was doing can be evident.

I have adult onset diabetes that arrived a little over six months after my fortieth birthday in 2010. In the summer of 2012, I had gotten a blister on the second toe (next to the big one) of my right foot. Having had blisters before I didn’t think anything of it. Only this one did not go away as normal. Eventually I was sent to a foot doctor (a different one than the one I have now) and he told me that it was infected and the infection had gotten to the bone and the toe had to be removed. This really rattled me. Up to this point I wasn’t really taking diabetes serious but to hear that the reason the infection got to the bone was because of issues related to my diabetes, I woke up as to how bad this disease is. In the beginning of August 2012 they removed the toe. It honestly took me a long time to reconcile my anger with God over losing my toe.

February 2018, almost six years later, I returned from a men’s retreat and found a blister on my fourth toe on the same foot. I immediately went to the doctor but in the few days between seeing the blister and getting into the office, the toe had swelled up to twice the size, was dark redish in color and had a very bad odor. I knew this was bad. The doctor after hearing how fast the infection was moving scheduled surgery for two days later. He would later tell me that if we waited I would have lost the foot. One bright side was while I was sitting in the pre-op room I was praying how I didn’t understand why God was allowing this. At that moment, the foot doctor came back and told me that I was a miracle. He said that an overwhelming majority of people who have an amputation are back within five years to have more amputated. And with diabetics it is even higher. The fact that I went just about six years was “beating the odds” and he was telling all his doctor colleagues that it was because of my faith. I was like “Ok God I may not like this but you know what you are doing!” I lost that toe.

July 2019, the middle toe on my left foot was not looking good at all. I called my foot doctor but he was on vacation and not reachable. He was going to be out like two weeks. Well I waited a week, which was a bad idea, and the toe got tremendously worse. I knew it was going to be amputated. My wife took me to the Emergency Room at the beginning of the month and they confirmed what I knew. My foot doctor at the time didn’t service this hospital as his office was quite some distance away in downtown Fort Worth. The foot doctor on call was brought in. He also confirmed what the emergency room doctor and I already knew. While in the ER I was upset because I was doing everything right. I had about an hour where God and I weren’t on speaking terms. Then I turned back to God and said, “I don’t know what you are doing but I submit to whatever you have for me!” They did take the toe. However, I won the best patient of the floor award because I was always happy and eager to help and even quick to pray for the staff. God used me to touch them with his love. I did wish he found a different way for me to share his love but it was what it was.

Early October 2020 (this month), my big toe had a blister under the skin deep down. My new foot doctor from the Emergency room and I were watching it. I decided to keep this doctor because of his faith in God and that he told me that he prayed before each surgery. That struck me and I knew I should stay with him. On Wednesday I started having a massive headache and a fever. By Friday I was running almost 104 and the medicine was barely helping. In addition, that deep blister opened up and my big toe was beginning to swell. I knew I couldn’t lose my bit toe because it would have affected a lot about walking for the rest of my life. I was praying as the ER doctor felt it was a goner.

This brings me up to my foot doctor being a spiritual steward. Saturday I got a call from my foot doctor. He told me he was praying and he really felt that the problem was a screw that was in my big toe put in years ago. He believed that was the source of the infection and thus the fever which was peaking at 104. He was asking for my permission to go ahead with booking the surgery to remove the screw and let’s see what happens. The reason he was asking me was because the head doctor on my case and the infectious disease doctor wanted to run a bunch more tests and were certain I was going to lose the toe. Essentially as I understand it, he was taking a big risk by having the surgery for the screw without concrete proof that if it was not the screw there could be further complications and I could end up losing the foot. But I knew deep down that God did not want to have me lose the toe which is why I agreed to go with my foot doctor’s plan.

I would like to tell you that I was a pillar of strength. But I wasn’t. Instead I was in a constant battle against my mind. I had seen this before in the three other toes that I lost. I knew this looked bad. And this time around, I had a raging fever to go with it. It got to a point that I put a sock on my foot so that I would not see it.

Yesterday two weeks after the surgery, the doctor took out the sutures. He looked at my foot with my big toe not swollen and looking pretty good, well, good for after having surgery. He was giving me permission to walk in my regular shoes which in contrast I would not be able to do for like six weeks when I had an amputation. It was a strangely good feeling to be putting my foot down and walking. My foot doctor was God’s chosen person to help direct what was happening in the physical so that God’s grace and love would shine through in me not losing my toe.

“‘Every believer has received grace gifts, so use them to serve one another as faithful stewards of the many-colored tapestry of God’s grace.’” – 1 Peter 4:10

God has not done for me what he won’t do for you. If you find yourself in a situation like I did where all the signs were pointing to something you know in your spirit not to be true (like me with my big toe). Look around and see who God has placed around you and with you and whom may be a spiritual steward to help guide and direct you through the valley to the other side where you will shine in the tapestry of God’s Grace.